An Old Lady's Wish
An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when, all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
"Well, now," says the old lady: "I guess I would like to be really, really rich." As soon as she said it, there was a POOF! and her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
She smiles and says: "Gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess." So POOF! she turns into a beautiful young woman.
"Your third wish?" asked the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh... can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks. So POOF! There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine.
She stares at him, smitten. He saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear: "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered!"
"Well, now," says the old lady: "I guess I would like to be really, really rich." As soon as she said it, there was a POOF! and her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
She smiles and says: "Gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess." So POOF! she turns into a beautiful young woman.
"Your third wish?" asked the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh... can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks. So POOF! There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine.
She stares at him, smitten. He saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear: "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered!"
Little White Lie
Ted, a wealthy 70-year-old widower, shows up at a bar with a stunning 25-year-old blonde on his arm. The woman has the body of a model, has her arms endearingly locked around Ted’s torso and focuses intently on every syllable he utters.
Naturally, his friends at the bar are stunned. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask: "Ted, come on, where'd you get such a beautiful babe for a girlfriend?"
Ted replies: "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"
Now they're completely knocked over. They continue their questioning: "Alright, how'd you get her to marry you?"
"Well, I lied about my age," Ted admits.
"How old did you say you were? 50?"
Ted smiles and says, "Nope! I told her I was 95!”
Naturally, his friends at the bar are stunned. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask: "Ted, come on, where'd you get such a beautiful babe for a girlfriend?"
Ted replies: "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"
Now they're completely knocked over. They continue their questioning: "Alright, how'd you get her to marry you?"
"Well, I lied about my age," Ted admits.
"How old did you say you were? 50?"
Ted smiles and says, "Nope! I told her I was 95!”
Little Johnny
Little Johnny walks past his parents' room one night and sees them making love. Puzzled, he asks his father about it the next morning.
"Why were you doing that to Mommy last night?" he asks.
His father replies: "Because Mommy wants a baby."
The next night, Johnny spots Mommy giving Daddy a blowjob, and the next morning he asks his father: "Why was Mommy doing that to you last night?"
His father replies: "Because Mommy wants a Porsche."
"Why were you doing that to Mommy last night?" he asks.
His father replies: "Because Mommy wants a baby."
The next night, Johnny spots Mommy giving Daddy a blowjob, and the next morning he asks his father: "Why was Mommy doing that to you last night?"
His father replies: "Because Mommy wants a Porsche."
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